Did You Know God, That Communication Is A Two Way Street?

I've been in a rut. My Christianity is one big rut, a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change. I've been in this relationship for sometime now 21 years to be exact and I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to keep the conversation alive only to have silence in response. Communication is a two street but sometimes I feel like you don't know that God.  You're suppose to know everything, yet you don't seem to know how to speak to me. I heard that you talked to that church sister last week and that elder yesterday, you seem to be picking everyone around but me. How do we grow together if I cant here your voice? How do I know you're here If I've never heard that seemingly fictitious whisper it in my ear?

I'm frustrated with you God but at the same time am I listening?
Simply put if I'm not listening I will never hear. I will never hear the thoughts of encouragement you send when I'm down, or notice the song you put in my heart when I break out in a random hum. I will never notice the voice of reason that guides me and helps me decipher right from wrong. I may never notice because I allow the vast ocean of my thoughts to drown you out. I allow time to be my master and time just will not allow me to sit still long enough for you to speak to me. I will calm the ocean and I will restrain time. I will do my part and listen.

I've heard that's all you require, for me to listen and then you will speak.

#LetsSeeWhatHappens