Friday, 30 November 2012

I Am Upset.

I am upset.
I am upset that I claim Jesus's name yet I keep doing wrong. I am upset that I ask for forgiveness just to to do it all over again. I am ashamed to say it but it's time for me to face it. I am a repeat offender.
It's as if I ridicule God in His love. I know He's there, I know He cares but I don't care, at least not enough to change my ways, and I'm tired of it.  I'm tired of using and misusing His grace, I'm tired of cheating on God with the devil. I will not do it anymore. I will not pretend to be something I'm not instead I will become what I've been pretending to be. I will no longer wear the makeup of Christianity  I'm just gonna be me. The true me, the me God wants me to be because tonight, I saw God, Again. Again God revealed Himself to me, again God pleaded with me and I can't look into his face and reject Him again. Not again, I will not use the eyes he gave me to look away, the ears he gave me to turn away, I will not use the brain He gave me to process the thought of rebellion against Him nor the breath he gave me to sustain a life of sin.

I refuse to go yet another day stuck at the same spiritual level I was since my mother read my bedtime stories. I refuse to get up yet another day kinda " trying" to walk the Christian pathway, that makes the Devil smile. Mourn oh deceptive one because to your total you have to add -1. I am no longer #TeamKindOfChristian or #TeamMiddleGround. I've vanquished my pride squashed my vanity my life is no longer about me me me! It's about the Jesus in me. I will not allow the Devil to stop me from being all God wants me to be. Ive been under this spell that sin has spun long enough, and slowly but surely my affinity for the sinful things that used to choke me, will diminish. God called me and in the split second all the things that had to go flashed before me. My pride my vanity, myself reliance, MY BELIEF THAT I CAN DO ME BETTER THAN GOD CAN DO ME. I changed my mind set. I stopped thinking that I can do this, and I can do that. I am not powerful or mighty, God is. Say it with me, I am not powerful or mighty. God Is. Talk to Him right now, cause trust me..

I saw God today. I will never be the same again.

1 comment:

  1. Keep getting upset, that's a sign that God still exists in you somewhere...